Stop The World, I Want To Get Off

Growing up, many of us experienced the merry-go-round on the school playground. How so many of us survived those rides is beyond me. We would pile on as many as possible and then hang on for dear life as the brave ones would put their feet on the ground to gain speed as we went round and round. During this orchestrated form of torture, experiences ranged from jumping off at the very beginning, trying to hang on until you were catapulted in the air or hanging on to the very end. And what was the reward for doing so? Being sicker than a dog and not being able to stand up straight. Even writing about it now brings back those sensations!

The world in which we live is a lot like a merry-go-round. We are all piled on together and the more it rotates the faster it seems to go. And while on this ride, some are huddled together near the middle holding on with both hands, where they feel safest and hope for the best. Others are closer to the edge, perhaps holding on with just one hand. These "riders" enjoy the thrill-seeking aspects and have no fear in flying off at any moment. And finally, you have those poor souls that jump off as soon as the ride becomes too bumpy. Regardless of which category you and I fit into, at some point we all get off this merry-go-round.

During Paul's ministry, I get the feeling he was ready to get off his merry-go-round of a life. In his letter to the church of Philippi, Paul says, But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labor; yet what I shall choose, I know not. For I am in a strait between the two, having a desire to depart and to be with Christ, which is far better; nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you (1:22-24).

He is struggling between staying on and getting off. As he shares his heart, it is clear that Paul sees value in both. He has a sincere desire to leave this world and join his Father in heaven where he can be in His presence for eternity. Paul yearns for the peace and happiness that is waiting for him and selfishly wants that peace. He is tired and weary. Yet, in his weariness he also knows there is still work to be done here on earth. He understands that it is not his will that matters. As a faithful servant, Paul is yielding by saying, not my will but Your will.

I love and admire Paul's approach. He knows our time on this earth from start to finish is authored by one, and only one Person. It is not for us to choose but for God to tell us our ride is over. As I continue on my journey in this life, it seems I see Paul's struggle more clearly every day.

And there are days, not unlike today, where I can honestly say, "I feel ya Paul, I feel ya"...

Pastor Aaron